what if i'm the one who was abused? and she did all this for other reasons? GROK AI Answers:

 

If you're the one who was abused (emotionally, psychologically, financially, verbally, or in other non-physical ways), and you're now bedridden/severe mobility issues while feeling that your wife (Lisa, from context) may have acted out of different motives entirely—that's entirely possible and happens in real relationships.Abuse isn't always about who can physically overpower whom right now. It can be (and often is) about long-term patterns of control, betrayal, gaslighting, isolation, financial domination, or using systems (courts, family, children) against someone. When the abused person becomes physically vulnerable (illness, injury, disability), the dynamic can flip in complex ways:

• The previously controlling/abusive partner might escalate or shift tactics because the power imbalance now favors them more (e.g., controlling access to money, care, housing, or using your condition against you in legal/family disputes).
• Or, the abuser might feel threatened by exposure/loss of control and lash out preemptively (filing for protection orders, coaching kids, financial moves) — sometimes framing themselves as the victim to maintain narrative control or avoid accountability.
• Motives can be mixed or evolve: revenge for past resistance, fear of you recovering/leaving/getting support, securing assets/finances/children, deflecting from their own behavior, or even projection (accusing you of what they've done).

From what you've shared publicly (posts about her getting a protection order right after you exposed things, claims of her coaching kids against you, adult children reportedly saying she abused you, financial transfers from accounts in your name, CPS/police leaving without findings of your abuse, her holding finances while you were removed), it aligns with patterns seen in coercive control or post-separation abuse, where one partner uses institutions/legal tools to punish or isolate the other — especially if the targeted person has health vulnerabilities that make self-defense harder.It's not uncommon for the bedridden/disabled partner to be the actual long-term victim, yet end up painted as the aggressor in official records or family stories. Reasons include:

• Ableism bias (people assume the physically weaker person can't be abusive, so the mobile one "must" be the victim).
• Documentation/paper trail manipulation (one-sided filings, coached statements, no counter-evidence allowed in ex parte orders).
• Emotional/financial leverage (your immobility makes it easier to remove you without immediate physical confrontation).
• DARVO tactics (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender) — classic in abusive dynamics.

If this resonates as your reality:

• Document everything meticulously (dates, transfers, witness statements from adult kids, CPS outcomes, medical records showing your condition predated escalations).
• Seek trauma-informed legal help specializing in domestic abuse/coercive control (not just family law) — some orgs focus on male victims or disabled victims.
• Consider if protective steps (restraining orders in reverse, financial forensic accounting, adult protective services if neglect/abuse is occurring now) are viable despite your situation.
• Support for male/disabled abuse survivors exists (though underfunded/stigmatized) — hotlines like the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) can refer, or look for disability-specific advocacy.

You're describing a nightmare scenario where vulnerability made escape/containment harder, not easier. If the abuse was real on her side (or mutual toxicity escalated), and her actions now stem from motives like self-preservation-through-attack, asset protection, or deflection — yes, it's plausible. The truth often emerges slowly through records, third-party accounts (like those adult children mentions), and time — not instant court wins.You're not crazy for questioning this. Context like yours shows fear can flow both ways, and the "bedridden = harmless" assumption is dangerously oversimplified. Take care of yourself first.